Cocorella: Parody Of A Classic
by Nush
Summary: This parody was an accident waiting to happen. Now that accident has arrived courtesy of yours truly. A slightly more detailed summary inside. [NOT COMPLETED]


**CAUTION. CAUTION. THIS STORY IS TOXIC - Meaning all flames will break the barrier and send toxic waste a-flying! It's REALLY fun. Really, really fun. Why there was the time when I fell in toxic waste, resulting in an incessant moonwalking virus!**

**Komodo Joe: I remember that. It wassssssss very bad. (sniffs)**

**Pinstripe: Poor Nush had to be restrained. Poor, poor useless minion. (wipes eyes)**

**Komodo Moe: I remember that horrible day. There wasssssss no cheesecake. (brawls eyes out)**

**Nush: BUT HEY! I'm in perfect-eth working order-eth! And it's time-eth for another story-eth!**

**Pinstripe: Aw nuts. SHE SPEAKS SHAKESPEARIAN! Run! (darts away)**

**Nush: (blank-eth) What did-eth I do-eth? (sniff...eth)**

**Komodo Moe: Oh noessssssss. (blank) Can I do the disclaimer? CAN I! CAN I? PLEASE!**

**Nush: Sure-eth! **

**Komodo Moe: Nush, our beloved uh, sssssstrait jacket pal ownssssss nothing in this sssssstory. Because if sssssshe said sssssshe did, ssssssshe would be ssssssued and that wouldn't be cool. Sssssso there!**

**Nush: Thank-eth you Moe! (pets him and throws him a biscuit) I came-eth up with-eth the plot on holiday-eth! Now here-eth we go-eth!**

**Summary: A parody of the classic fairy tale of Cinderella, with Coco taking the lead role (hence the name Cocorella!). The story drags along until a disco is takes place at Cortex Castle (I'm having disturbing images of Cortex, Brio and doing Saturday Night Fever styley dances!). I won't say anymore. Probably some or lots of OOC and trouble with Dingodile's accent. Bless him.**

**Rated: K+. Just in case, but I'm pretty sure there's hardly anything offensive.**

**Pairings: I'm NOT saying a word. It'll spoil the surprise! That is, unless I'm SUPER predictable or you're psychic! I just hope it's not super, horrfyingly shocking! (whistles)**

**Cast:**

**Dingodile - Narrator**

**Coco Bandicoot - Cinderella**

**Crash Bandicoot - Lazier older brother of Coco (he blanks out)**

**Liz Bandicoot - Stepmother**

**Isabella and Tawna Bandicoot - Stepsisters**

**Rilla Roo - Messenger**

**Nush: That's all I'm telling you! If I revealed the identities of the other cast members, it will ruin the surprise. Really! REALLY! **

**Komodo Joe: Now for our feature pressssssentation!**

**Nush: I get to say-eth that! **

**Final Note: Bold italics are used when Dingodile does his narration throughout the story, brackets are used for Dingodile's thoughts, and finally just plain italics are used for random songs or singing that may occur. Enjoy!**

* * *

**INTRO UNO**

**Applause.**

**N.Gin, Brio, Tropy and Cortex burst out of the screen wearing pinstriped suits, armed with striped canes, with white and black paint camouflaging their faces. Cheesy music emitted from the outset, resulting in an uneasy performance.**

_# After months of blood, sweat and tears doing this ludricous act_

_Here's the feature presentation! # _

**Awkwardly, they freezed into a high kicking position. Silence followed as crickets chirped and cockroaches scurried.**

**Brio sniffed. "D-d-d-d-d-d-do w-w-w-w-w-we g-g-g-g-get p-p-p-paid?**

**END INTRO UNO**

* * *

**Dingodile strolled promptly into a dark, padded room with a giant book under his arm, being violently nudged with a broomstick by the authoress (that's me, Nush!), who hastily made her way backstage ready to watch this whimsical spectacle. Dingodile raised his eyebrow, debating with the authoress under his breath. He froze as the spotlight haphazardly shone on him.**

**"Uh...G'day, uh mates!" Dingodile chirped to an non-existant audience. "As yer can see the authoress cast me as the narrator of this uh, tale."**

**Nush prodded him with a stick, while hissing: "You could be less hesistant!"**

**Wincing, Dingodile evaded the dreaded choice of weaponry, before announcing: "Anyways. Welcome ta the feature presentation of Cocorella!" **

**Applause broke out from an old audio cassette.**

**An estatic Nush darted into the scene bowing. "Thank you! Thank you!"**

**Dingodile elbowed her promptly out of the spotlight clearing his throat. "Well, 'ere goes nothin'." **

**Dingodile struggled to lift up the heavy hardback book, before opening to the very beginning of a heavily edited and parodied story. He squinted at the heavily edited page and began to read: "Once upon a time, a time I don't know when, but it was some time ago. Maybe a few years ago, sorry I can't remember when." Looking up from the page, he squinted in confusion at the authoress who was nursing her sore head.**

**Shrugging, the minion continued to narrate: "So...there was a wicked stepmother with 'er two daughters and 'er stepchildren in a gigantic mansion..."**

**WHOOSH!**

**The scene changed to a large mansion sitting on a large grassy hilltop. **

**His bored tone of voice boomed in the scene. _"Blah, blah...so they all lived in this here mansion. Liz Bandicoot and 'er beautiful daughters Isabella and Tawna. And 'er stepchildren Crash and Coco. And they lived very happily."_**

**"COCO! GET HERE NOW!" **

**A shrill voice drilled through Coco's ears making her recoil in annoyance.**

**"(sigh) Coming Liz."**

_**"Well maybe it weren't all happy. Coco Bandicoot was the youngest and most prettiest...(This narration job is so lame!) and she had ta do all the chores 'round the mansion, while Tawna, Isabella and even Crash did NOTHING. Lazy beggars!"**_

**Coco Bandicoot coughed weakly as she dusted off dirt from her dustbin bag dress, which was labelled with "I'm very stupid". A slogan which suited her stepfamily just peachy. **

**"Yes Liz?" sighed the young bandicoot.**

**"Well! Look who comes travelling at a snails pace when I NEED her!" Liz hissed venomously, slowly towering over the smaller bandicoot. Coco hastily rolled her eyes, in no doubt that more orders would await her.**

**Isabella strolled out of her bedroom clutching a huge mountain of clothing, throwing it at Coco's head which resulted in her being buried in piles of dirty clothing. That wasn't the end of it. Tawna came stomping into the living area, slamming her laundry down viciously adding to the laundry mountain.**

**"Have these washed by sundown! I have a date!" Isabella promptly turned on her heel and exited.**

**Desperate for breath, Coco buried her way out of the heap of clothing spitting out a sock from her mouth in the process.**

**"Wash the plates! Do the ironing! Clean the tiles! Repair my dress! OH! Do everything! EVERYTHING!" Liz flapped her arms frenziedly. She furiously stamped her foot making her point, leaving poor Coco literally swimming in the laundry.**

**Crash -whom was lazily sunbathing near the pool- looked at his helpless sister through the window with a look of remorse. For a minute it ACTUALLY looked like he was going to help her. Lazily, he shrugged and went back to doing nothing. The high life appealed to him greatly.**

_**"So as ya can see, Coco were swamped with all those chores. And those lazy beggars did zilch. ZILCH! Ya know, kinda reminds me of us lot at Cortex Castle. There was this one time when we had piles of laundry and we hid it in the ol' closet. It all flooded out when Cortex opened that closet. Hahahahahaha! So funny! Ha...Oh. Am I still narratin'? Oh rite. Don't hit me with that broomstick. HAV' MERCY! (cough, sniff) Okay. So Coco had ta do all the chores. And that were only the start of 'er troubles!"**_

**What seemed like centuries later, the young bandicoot had scrubbed, ironed (etc) and battled her way through the hoads of chores. Except for the fact of drying Isabella's laundry.**

**"WHAT!" Isabella shrieked, her mouth gaping open. "I SAID, DRY THEM BY SUNDOWN!" Suddenly the tall blonde found herself gasping for breath, falling on her knees in a dramatic fashion. "This is...the worst crisis. EVER!"**

**Tawna's eyes widened, aghast. "Ohmigodfashioncrisis!" she spoke rapidly.**

**"RED ALERT! RED ALERT!" Isabella flapped her arms insanely, circling the room like a vulture. Merrily, Liz entered the room only to have Isabella crying on her shoulder. "Oh mom! It's terrible! Coconuts didn't dry my new, new, new super tight, super small dress!"**

**"(yawn) It's Coco." the tired blonde said in a quiet voice.**

**"Whatever. Who gave YOU permission to speak?" Tawna sneered.**

**Isabella brawled incessantly into Liz's shoulder. "WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO WEAR NOW! I'll have to cancel! No dress! No date!"**

**"Stupid reason to cancel." Coco thought to herself. "She never did have brains."**

**Liz pointed to the door with an outstretched finger. "OUT! You can sleep outside with the roaches and that annoying tiger! (sigh) Why did we get that tiger?" **

**Tiny Tiger scratched at the window sadly.**

**Crash simply just stared into space.**

**The cockroaches outside smiled freakishly wide.**

**Tawna, a tearful Isabella and Liz all grabbed Coco by the scruff of her dustbin bag dress. **

**"Okay girls. On the count of three!" Tawna hissed.**

**"THREE!"**

**The bandicoots viciously heaved Coco in the back garden, slamming the door shut.**

**"Ow. (huff) What happened to "one" and "two"? DON'T THEY COME BEFORE THREE!" screamed an angry Coco as she hit the hard soil.**

**"Whatever." And with that said, the television was turned up full blast. Charlie's Angels was on.**

_**"Poor Coco, left ta sleep outside in the cold. All that over a bleedin' dress. (As if she ain't got enough of 'em!)That's how it were, most nights. One night she were sent ta sleep outside 'cause she didn't like Charlie's Angels. Another night she were sent outside fer no good reason! Life was so terribly to 'er. Night..."**_

**"STAY OUT!" Liz threw the young bandicoot down hard outside.**

_**"After night..."**_

**Isabella's high heel sent Coco flying back outside.**

_**"...after night...(How many do I hav' ta say that!)"**_

**Tawna lazily picked up Coco by her hair. "Mom...can't we just hire someone to throw her outside each night? It's so much effort!" she complained, feigning pain in her arms.**

**"You're right Tawna!" Liz affectionately petted her hair.**

_**"...after night. (That is the last time I say this? Right?)"**_

**"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Oxide launched Coco into the sky, sending her crashing down headfirst into the soil.**

**"Great job Oxide. You're hired!" **

**Oxide grinned widely. "YES!"**

_**"But something was gonna happen a few days later that would change 'er life. No really. It would. 'Cause someone is gonna come a-ringin'! No joke! Mates, I think it's gonna happen now."**_

**Silence.**

_**"The doorbell is gonna ring any minute."**_

**Silence.**

_**"Any minute now."**_

**Silence.**

_**"FER THE LOVE OF...The messenger is supposed ta come RINGING!"**_

**The doorbell rang, which played the Charlie's Angels theme. (Hehehehe! Charlie's Angels doorbell ring! Hahahaha! Sorry. Just got caught up in the image. (cough) I'll shut up now.)**

**"Coconumbnuts! Go answer the door! I'm busy waiting for my hair to dry naturally." Isabella shrieked audibly.**

**"It's Coco. And why don't you just dry your hair with a hairdryer you lazy wrench?" Coco cursed under her breath, while she walked towards the door.**

**RING! RING! RING! RING! RING! RING! RING! RING! RING! RING! RING! RING! RING!**

**"Okay! Okay!" Coco opened the door to a strange minion. "Uh, hello? Can I help?"**

**The minion revealed himself as Rilla Roo and he simply picked his nose.**

**"Yesssssssss?" Coco bit her lip confused.**

**Rilla Roo rudely blew a raspberry, making Coco's annoyance rise.**

**"Is there a reason why you are here?"**

**Rilla Roo stood dumbstruck. He then let out a gigantic belch which literally sent Coco flying backwards in alarm.**

**"Who is it Coconerd?" Isabella peered her head around the door.**

**Coco dizzily shook her head, being belched at had sent her into an unpleasant daze.**

**"Yeah? What?" Isabella sneered, narrowing her eyes at Rilla Roo.**

**The kangaroo-gorilla hybrid stuck out his tongue, producing a card from his pocket.**

**Isabella's eyes slitted as she snatched the card from him. "Okay then. Bye."**

**Promptly, the blonde slammed the door causing Liz and Tawna to race into the room. **

**"Who was that Isabella?" Liz sighed as she removed her sunglasses. "This better be good. I'm about to miss some serious sun!"**

**"Oh just some dumb freak. Could have been the perfect boyfriend for Coconut, seeing as she'll never get a REAL guy! He gave me this." Shoving the card into Tawna's hand, she started to style her hair.**

**Tawna raised her brow, reading the card. Her inital expression of doubt suddenly changed as glee was seen in her emerald eyes. "Ohmigod! We have been invited to like the biggest party ever! The disco at Cortex Castle! INVITED!" she squealed again for emphasis, resulting an estatic Liz and Isabella embracing her.**

**Snapping out of her daze, Coco frowned. "Incase you haven't noticed, he's the enemy!"**

**Coco was greeted by blank faces from the bandicoots. "So?" they chorused in unison with the same malicous tone in their voices.**

**"Ohmigod! It's tonight!"**

**"(gasp) I have to so choose what I'm gonna wear!"**

**The two blonde bandicoots estatically raced out of the hallway.**

**"Can I go too?" Coco knew she had made a BIG mistake asking.**

**Liz laughed cruelly. "YOU KIDDING! You don't even have a nice dress to wear!" Laughing evilly, she pointed at Coco's grubby dustbin bag dress. "Just shut up whining and do your chores!"**

**"I don't have anymore chores."**

**Liz then got soil from the back yard and poured it all over the hallway flooring, and as if on cue Tawna and Isabella came in with more laundry.**

**"There. Now you have! Cackling evilly, Liz exited with her daughters.**

_**"Isabella, Crash, Tawna and Liz were all goin' ta the disco. Poor Coco was gonna ta be left cleanin' mould. Oh woe is her! (Can I take a break now? Please? I'm tired narratin'!)"**_

**To Be Continued...**

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****

**Komodo Joe: Whoa! Lotssssss of writing!**

**Pinstripe: Woo-hoo! Maybe yous have stopped speakin' Shakespearian?**

**Nush: I'm doing my best-eth.**

**Pinstripe: (sighs)**

**Nush: Apologies if that was REALLY long. But it twas totally unplanned, despite the fact I came up with this concept on holiday.**

**Pinstripe: Yous come up with some crazy maisy.**

**Komodo Moe: CHEESECAKE! (dives)**

**Nush: Apologies for the OOC-ness (I do not think Tawna is a bitch or dumb. Or Isabella or Liz for that matter. But Tawna rules. Really.) and other stuff. But I hope to update this soon-eth. Tune in next time to see if Coco shall go...to the disco! Who's the fairy godmother? Is Oxide still there!**

**Oxide: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!**

**Nush: (sigh) Tune in next time for the next part of Cocorella!**

**Dingodile: Can I rest now?**

**Nush: Uh, sure. Take five all of you. Ciao! Love, Peace and Respect. R/R nicely or toxic waste!**

**Minions: OOOOOOOH!**

**Love Nush xoxoxoxox**


End file.
